If You Love Something, Let It Go
by Sparrowfeather1
Summary: As Harry left I realized that sometimes letting go of someone you love isn't always some stupid test. Often times it's the only way you can do the right thing for the person that means more to you than anything else. But by the time the door to the Room of Requirements closed and I was left all alone, I knew I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Draco/Harry! Drarry!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

I hate that saying, 'If you love something let it go, if it comes back then it's yours if it doesn't it never was.' I mean how stupid is that? If you care about someone then why would you let them go? That just never made sense to me. When I was young I knew that if I ever found love I'd hold unto it forever and never let go. I had everything any child could want except for love. My parents were always off doing something fancy, elegant...or in more recent years, completely and totally evil. Letting go of love once you had it just always seemed ridiculous to me.

So that's all fine and dandy but why am I standing in the pouring rain letting my new robes get soaked you may ask. Well there's a simple answer to that. The same thing that has been the sole answer to every problem I've ever had since first entering Hogwarts 8 years ago! Harry Potter.

Harry bloody Potter and the Weaselette. They are the reason I'm up after hours, roaming the grounds, in the rain. If my father saw me now he'd throw a fit. So yes father I do realize that trudging around in the mud is undignified for a pureblood but here's a news flash _so is being put on trial for helping to try and take over the WORLD! _

But anyways, back to Potter and Weaselette. I hate them, I hate them both. Now most of you probably aren't surprised by hearing me say that, after all, we were on opposite sides of the war, I was horrible to them for years and so on and so forth. Well that's all true but things changed this year...a lot.

My parents were spared Azkaban thanks to Potter's testimony and the three of us went back to our manor. I got my letter around mid-August, inviting me along with the rest of last year's seventh year class back to Hogwarts to complete our education. I knew that because of my last name, graduating with honors was the only way I'd be able to get a decent job, so I wasn't really left a choice now was I? So come September I got on the Hogwarts express, very few Slytherins returned so my only companion was Blaise Zabinni. Blaise was cool, his family had never been a major player in the war and honestly I don't think the Zabinni's really cared who won so long as they were spared punishment.

The two of us chatted amicably for a bit while everybody stayed clear of our compartment which I was eternally grateful for. It wasn't until we got to school that I saw him. The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice was in the carriage ahead of me. He was surrounded by two heads of red hair, the Original Weasel and his vixen of a sister, along with the Granger girl. Even from all the way back here I could hear them laughing about something ridiculous.

Potter glanced up above the carrot top's head and our eyes locked. We just looked at each other, as if it was challenge of who would look away first. Naturally I won. The She-Weasel started to pull on Potter's arm to get his attention, looking like some whiny four year old child if you ask me. This caused him to end our little game and look at her, I felt an odd sense of victory welling up inside me. Not from our minor staring contest but by the annoyed look Potter gave his red haired stalker.

But my victory was short lived. After that short not-really-but-sort-of an exchange Potter didn't acknowledge my existence. And that was just unacceptable. Nobody ignored me. I'm Draco Malfoy! As a general rule people don't ignore me, I'm still in The Daily Prophet on a daily basis. Granted they don't say the nicest things but my point was that if the general public can't ignore me Potter sure as hell can't.

Mid November was when I finally had him cornered. I was in the owlery, past curfew I'll admit, sending a letter back home. I had just sent one of the school owls off with a letter when I heard footsteps. Just as I turned around, that mop of black hair came into view. He looked at me, I froze in my place. We were back to having a staring contest. Okay, so maybe he was the one that had me cornered. Potter looked away first this time too. Score is now Me two, Potter zero.

He reached into his pocket and for a moment I got nervous but no. This wasn't our thing. We didn't hex each other for no reason. We fought, threw insults, made a show for our pea brained audience. We didn't throw curses without provocation. Well, he didn't at least. Out of his pocket Potter pulled a wand, my wand. Like a greedy, rich, spoiled brat, hm my simile isn't that far off, I snatched it out of his hand. I ran my fingers up and down my wand, I had missed it. When I looked back up, Scarhead was giving a letter to an owl as well. He watched the bird fly off and then turned around and started back down the stairs. Without thinking I ran and blocked him.

"What are you doing Malfoy?" He asked, they were the first words he had spoken to me all year and his voice sounded...the same as always. For some reason I expected it to be different, that because the war was over and Voldemort dead that it would somehow be lighter. But no, it still sounded like he had the world on his shoulders and the weight was crushing him slowly.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level and emotionless.

"Why do you care if I've been ignoring you?"

When the hell did he get so snarky? "Because!" Oh yay, very eloquent. Two minutes in his company and I've been dumbed down to the Gryffindor level.

Without another word he tried to push past me. Leave and just dismiss me again. I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the anger coursing through me. Maybe I knew that it was the only way to get his attention. The only possibility that I didn't think of at the time was that I actually wanted it. So next thing I knew I had grabbed the wizarding world's savior, pinned him against the wall and kissed him. Straight on the lips. He gasped in shock and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue in his mouth. He stood there frozen for a moment, before he bit down on my tongue. Hard. I quickly recoiled in pain.

"What the hell!?" I swore, tasting blood in my mouth.

"You're a terrible person Malfoy!" Harry yelled, considering I just assaulted his mouth I figured at least mentally calling him by his first name wasn't that far of a leap. But his words still stung, I knew he was talking about the war, thats all anybody ever talked about when it came to me.

"I never wanted to do those things! Be that person!" I said back. My hair was askew and tie undone, laying haphazardly around my neck and my sleeves were rolled up to my elbows. I honestly hadn't expected to run into anyone up there. And for a moment I thought about how mad I must look, after all Harry had never seen the 'Distinguished Malfoy heir' look so disheveled, so utterly human before.

"Well why don't you go off and tell that to Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin or Mad-Eye! Oh wait they're DEAD." For a moment there I thought he might actually explode. All this year he had been sitting with his friends, doting on the She-Weasel and just being utterly boring. I was the only one who seemed to notice how bland he had been lately. Without The Dark Lord hovering over his head he had nothing to drive him or ignite that fire. So I guess that job fell to me now, or at least that's what I was telling myself.

"I never put my wand to any of them." I ground out each word slowly and deliberately.

"You might as well have! You might as well as killed them all! This war isn't something I or anybody else can get over in a few months. People died, friends died, family died I stared into the eyes of my dead friends, watched their families cry and all because people like you wanted something as meaningless a power? How can you ever think I can even look your way without wanting to pummel your face in let alone ever love you back!"

"I never said anything about love!" I corrected, trying to sound harsh but it felt like my whole throat had gone dry.

Harry stopped talking and this time it was him that moved first and we were locked in another heated kiss. This time though he was also doing some kissing back. Our lips moved in perfect sync, I groaned when he tugged on my bottom lip and he was pushing his tongue into my mouth.

My hands slid underneath his robes and felt the warmth of his back through his thin button up shirt. Harry's lips left mine but quickly attached themselves to my jaw, then began to work down my neck, biting and sucking along the way. I drew in a quick breath and dug my nails into his shoulder blades, that shirt not doing much to protect him. He hissed and bit my collar bone, then used his tongue to soothe it. He put his hands on my hips and ground them against his. I could feel his hardness through his jeans and I knew he could feel mine.

Neither of us were thinking anymore. We were only feeling. He dragged his tongue up my throat and caught my lips again. The kiss was intense and bruising, our tongues fighting for dominance. Our hands met in-between us as we both worked off the other's belt then pants. Both of us fumbled, almost shaking with desire. When we finally freed our cocks I gripped both of them in one hand. Pressing them together I pumped hard.

Harry broke our kiss and leaned his head against the wall, panting heavily. I leaned forward and used this chance to take advantage of his open neck. He buried his fingers in my hair and rocked his hips into my hand.

"Fuck I'm gonna-" he panted heavily

"Me too."

A second later I saw stars, I had never felt something so utterly amazing. We practically collapsed against each other, sticky with sweat and cum. We didn't let go of each other, Harry's head against my shoulder and my cheek pressed against his raven hair. As we came down from our high we both slowly started to realize what happened. We lifted our heads and looked at the other. And suddenly Harry started to laugh.

"Bloody hell! You really are insane!" I looked at him gaping. Not a very becoming look for me but considering I had owl feathers sticking to Harry Potter's dried cum on my abdomen I figured I'd make an exception and let myself gape. "Why are you laughing!?"

"Because this is ridiculous!" he gasped out between laughs

"Excuse me?" I said, somewhat offended.

"You and me, in the owlery. Dead of night. It's like some kind of bad soap opera!"

"Soap what?" I asked confused.

"Muggle thing."

"Ah, of corse" I smirked, running my fingers through his messy hair softly. He closed his eyes slowly and stopped laughing. In just a few seconds the air became serious.

"What are we doing...?" Harry asked, he sounded as confused as I had a few seconds ago and I couldn't blame him. This all happened so fast, part of me wasn't sure if it was even real.

"You were telling me how much of a horrible person I am and then decided to try and shag me."

"Oh yeah…well I guess we should be heading back to our dorms then…" Harry pulled away from my embrace and I cast a couple of cleaning charms on both of us. We awkwardly put our cocks back in our trousers and tried to somehow make ourselves look like we hadn't just had the best penis fencing match ever. Part of me felt mortified that that was all it took for me to blow my load but considering Harry had came as well I didn't feel so bad. Once we were both dressed and as put together as we could get we both sort of just stood there. Neither of us quite sure what we should do.

"We can't do this." Harry finally said, gesturing between us as if I wasn't already painfully aware what he was referring to.

"And why not?" I raised my chin defiantly.

"Because we just can't! You're you and Im me!"

"Very astute observation." I said dryly

"Oh never mind! Just don't talk to me again! This never happened!" he tried to storm off but I grabbed his wrist, pulling him back into my chest. I was quite pleased when he didn't struggle. I pressed a slow, lazy kiss to his lips and he immediately responded, for a second at least. After a moment he pushed me away. "What did I just tell you!?" he snapped.

"You told me not to talk to you, you never said anything about kissing."

"Well-you're talking now!" he said accusingly but I could tell he was completely flustered.

"So I did." I smirked, noticing how my vague answers frustrated him. That was just a bonus though, I honestly didn't think I could form a sentence any clearer than that without revealing how torn up I really was. But a Malfoy wasn't cowardly, at least that's what I was raised to believe. "Meet me in the room of requirements tomorrow night. At this time."

"What?" Harry went slack jawed and I smirked, still not completely sure what had come over me, I leaned over, kissing and leaving a slight nip along that jaw before sauntering down the stairs.

As soon as I got back to my bed, I laid down with my face buried in my pillow, trying to figure out what the hell I had just started.

For several weeks after that we met up in the Room of Requirements every night. The room had rebuilt itself perfectly after the fire and was now a marvelously large room with a fireplace, couch and a bed. Some nights we spent arguing, even letting it go so far as physical blows and hexes occasionally. Other nights I'd have his cock buried deep within my throat or vice versa. We hadn't gone all the way yet much to my disappointment and what was even more frustrating was that during the day he still let the Weaselette cling to him.

I tried my hardest to ignore what was happening to our relationship. I wanted so badly to convince myself it was just a misplaced lust or a need to rebel against my much more conservative pure-blood upbringing. And I was able to deny myself the truth until one morning. We woke up side by side in the Room of Requirements luxurious bed, it was a rare occurrence but not unheard of. We had been having our steamy affair for nearing three months by now but something changed that morning.

When I woke up I saw green eyes watching me. "What are you staring at Potter?" I groaned, mornings were not my strong suit.

"You Draco." he smirked softly, whenever we were alone together he insisted on calling me by my first name. Out loud I mostly kept with referring to him as Potter, Scarhead, The Boy Who Should Be Dead but occasionally when those glorious lips of his would suck just the right way I would moan his name. And I was perfectly okay with admitting that.

"Well stop it and let me get back to sleep." I rolled over so my back was to him and I almost was asleep again when I felt one of his callused hands massaging my bum. I groaned, half out of pleasure and half out of frustration.

"Common, wake up. I want to talk to you." Harry insisted.

"Talking seems to be the last thing on your mind."

"Well it got your attention didn't it?"

I sighed and rolled over to face him, talking was never good. Talking normally led to our fights which in turn led to bruises and no blow jobs or fencing for three days. At least. I hated talking. But refusing to speak to him would probably be even more damaging to my libido so nodded.

"Okay, what do you want?"

"A date."

I paused, wondering if I had heard him right. "A what?"

"A date, I want you and I to go on a date, together. In public. There's a Hogsmede trip coming up this weekend."

"My cock must have been so far down your bloody throat last night it deprived you of oxygen." I said, my tone letting him know just how utterly ridiculous he was being. "You're the one always going on about how 'we can't' and 'it's wrong' and now you want to go on a date!?" I couldn't believe he was being this stupid. "You're still dating the bloody she-weasel! You're still pretending to be Mr. Perfect Savior remember!"

"I want to break up with Ginny! Ive wanted to all year before…_this_ even started!"

"There is no _this,_ all _this_ is is a sexual release, nothing more!" I snapped but almost physically recoiled at the foul taste those words left in my mouth.

"Alright fine, if that's all this is to you then Im just going to go." Harry stood up and started to get dressed.

"Oh, come on! You're being ridiculous, you've said it yourself that we can't be anything!" I sat up, not really know why I was even wasting my time trying to get him to stay.

"Well maybe I just didn't want to admit to myself that we could and I wanted to, even if it meant loosing everything." He said, not pausing in his dressing to even look up at me as the implications of those words set in. He was willing to loose everything for me.

"Im engaged"

That made him stop. "What?" he looked up at me with wide eyes and I sighed.

"Betrothed really. I have been for a while, to Daphne Greengrass' younger sister. We've only actually met on a few occasions. Even if I wanted to be with you, and Im not saying I do, I wouldn't be able to. My future is already set in stone."

"I can't believe you never told me you were getting married." Harry hissed, his eyes narrowed.

"I never thought it mattered, I thought this was all you wanted!"

"Well it's not!"

"I think I bloody well realize that now!"

"And you're still going to go through with your betrothal. Even though Im prepared to leave Ginny and risk my relationship with the only family I've ever known?"

"Yes." I said coldly, wishing my heart would stop pounding in my chest.

"Fine" He finished getting dressed. As Harry left I realized that sometimes letting go of someone you love isn't always some stupid test. Often times it's the only way you can do the right thing for the person that means more to you than anything else. By the time the door to the Room of Requirements closed and I was left all alone, I knew I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. But I also knew it was probably the most selfless thing I had ever done too.

When I eventually dragged myself out of bed and got dressed I made my way down to breakfast. I didn't really know what I was expecting to find but I sure as hell knew I didn't expect to see Harry sucking face with the Weaselette at the Gryffindor table.

Not even twelve hours before, he had been kissing me with just as much vigor.

And that near heartbreaking moment became the story of my life for the next week. I never expected Harry The Shit Head Potter to do something so very Slytherin. He was always around his 'precious girlfriend' and I quickly noticed that whenever I entered a room they were being even more 'affectionate' than normal. It was disgusting really and by those cold calculating looks that Harry sent over the she-weasel's shoulder said that he knew exactly how much he was affecting me. But I refused to budge, if trying to get revenge on me made things easier on him then so be it. I couldn't help these damned _feelings_ I developed but I could however stop them from ruining his life too.

That didn't make it any easier to handle though. And that's why I was outside, in the rain, just being miserable. I was already letting my last name and my family's traditions ruin any hope I had for finding true love. I figured at the very least I had a right to sulk.

I eventually stopped walking, just sitting on one of the rocks littering the shore of the Black Lake. I was soaked from head to toe and shivering. I probably looked like drowned rat out here but who cares. It's not like I had anyone to look nice for anymore. But then the rain suddenly stopped, at least it stopped above my head. I looked up, not all to surprised at who I saw standing there.

"Shouldn't you be with the Weaselette?" I asked coldly, wondering how he always seemed to be able to find me.

"Shouldn't you be planning your wedding?" Harry countered, he had an umbrella over both of our heads. I wanted to make fun of him for not just using a spell but the words died in my throat. When I didn't say anything back to him, he sighed. "I saw you out here and got worried. It's pouring out."

"I think I noticed." I laughed humorlessly.

"Why are you out here?"

"I wanted to be alone."

"You could have done that inside. It's a big castle."

"Why are _you_ here?" I asked, looking up to him and trying to glare but I just couldn't. I was to tired, tired from lack of sleep, tired of pretending I was something I wasn't and tired of just trying to hate him.

"I was worried." He repeated and I was jealous at how comfortable he was with his emotions. I was silent, not able to think of anything to say to that. "Im sorry" Harry continued on "I've been a prick all week. I shouldn't have toyed with you like that, or Ginny. I just…I knew I wasn't imagining things, I knew I meant something to you and that was the only way I could think to get you to admit it to yourself and hopefully me."

Well his annoying but albeit sexy Slytherin streak was apparently done. "I already knew how I felt." I finally spoke "Well almost as soon as you left the room I knew. But just because I…am fond of you, doesn't mean we can be anything more than secret fuck buddies. In a perfect world maybe we could be together but I think you and I both know more than anyone else that we don't live in a perfect world. When I first kissed you, you reminded me about the people who had died in the war. Maybe by now you've been able to put it behind you but I don't think anyone else has been able to. You're right, I might as well have killed them myself. Im just as guilty as my father or the Dark Lord."

"No you're not." Harry cupped my cheek with one hand, the other still hanging on to the umbrella. His thumb ran softly along my cheek bone. "You've changed. You feel regret and shame for what you did and you want to graduate, get a job and move on with your life. Voldemort couldn't love, you can, I know you can. Ive seen you love your mother, your friends and I've seen you love me. I see it right now in your eyes." he pressed a soft kiss to my lips and much to my horror I all but melted into him. I had missed his lips so much this past week and all to soon he pulled back. "You were only in this war because you had the bad luck to be born on the wrong side. Don't make the same mistake again, stop doing what 'you were raised to do' and stop being who you were 'raised to be.'"

I was quite for a long moment, I knew what I wanted to say but I was unsure if I could actually go through with it. But I felt Harry's thumb stroke away a water drop that dripped from my hair. I closed my eyes and had to fight away a smile, I couldn't let him see how soft I was going. "Ill change if you will." I said softly, barely audible above the rain. It wasn't going to be an easy path but if I could learn to step away from my family's dark shadow and he could step away from the blinding goody two shoes spot light, we might just be able to make this work.

Harry smiled, "Lets go inside." he took my hand in his and pulled me up. We both walked back to the castle, huddling under the umbrella. Once we got inside we didn't separate, instead, without even the need to glance at each other confirmation, we headed to the Room of Requirements. Once we got there we entered our regular room and as soon as we were sure the door was closed and we had privacy we threw ourselves at each other. None of our past kisses could compare to the passion inside this one. We were both devouring the other's mouth, our tongues fighting for dominance, both refusing to back down.

Harry slipped his knee between my legs and I couldn't help but rut against his thigh. He groaned into my mouth and I shoved him off and into the nearest wall. I pinned him and pressed our foreheads together, staring into his eyes as I crashed our hips together, grinding them together almost painfully. Even through our trousers I could feel how hard he was. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed onto his belt and ripped it off, trying to get his pants off as quickly as possible. I was so delirious with desire that I barely noticed him doing the same to me. But then I felt the cold air hit my throbbing cock and I immediately knew what I had to have next. I pulled Harry's shirt over his head and put my hands on his shoulders. I ran my hands up and down his back and chest, tweaking nipples and only letting go so I could raise my arms and get my shirt off as well. When I put my hands back on his shoulders I pushed him down onto his knees.

Luckily he didn't need much more of a hint than that.

I hissed with pleasure when he took my cock in his hands and began to pump it slowly. But then I wanted to kill him as he only licked the tip then started to pepper my thighs with little kisses. I was coming completely undone, the slow, lazy strokes of his hand didn't provide nearly enough pleasure to my aching length.

"Dammit Harry! Get on with it!" I practically yelled and I heard him laugh.

But thankfully he obeyed me for once, I almost cried in relief as I felt his hot mouth circle around my cock. I buried my fingers in his hair, yanking it a bit rougher than was probably strictly necessary as he began to bob his head. I could feel my cock ramming the back of his throat repeatedly and I thanked the gods that Harry Potter was apparently born without a gag reflex. "Fuck Harry, oh fuck Im so close. Just a bit more." I couldn't stop the words from flowing out of my mouth but just when I was about to go over the edge he pulled away. "Hey!" I glared at him, in that moment I seriously considered murder.

But all homicidal thoughts ceased as I saw my very naked boyfriend walk over to the bed and lay on his back. He spread his legs and started to stroke his own cock. "I want you to cum up my ass…"

I almost lost it right then and there, the only thing keeping me from blowing my load was the thought of how much better it would feel to finally steal _my _savior's virginity. It took every once of will power I had to hang on long enough to climb on the bed and push a finger inside to prepare him. I felt him clench up and I grabbed his cock, beginning to massage it for him.

"You've got to relax." I instructed, squeezing his dick as I entered another finger and scissored them.

After a few moments he began to relax and I risked adding a third. And soon he was rocking back against my hand, fucking himself on my fingers.

"If you don't stop being so sexy I don't know if I can last long enough to fuck you." I said through gritted teeth.

"Then lets go." Harry reached into the drawer of the bedside table, rummaging around until he found a bottle of lube. For a moment I wondered if there was anything this room couldn't do,

"I still have one finger left." I reminded.

"I don't care, I need you now. I can handle it." He said and handed me the bottle.

I withdrew my fingers and he let out a little mewl of loss. I couldn't help but smile at that and I coated my hand with a liberal amount of lube, slathering it all over my cock.

"You sure about this?" I asked and he just spread his legs wider and lifted his ass up as much as he could.

"Fuck me now or Ill curse you into oblivion." he threatened and I smirked, easing into him slowly.

Harry clenched the sheets, leaning his head back and biting his bottom lip as he got used to the sensation. I let out a small whimper, never had I felt something so tight or so hot around my cock. It was glorious. Once I was sheathed completely inside him, I gave him a moment to get used to the feeling but he would have none of that. Harry started to rock his hips, trying to buck against me.

I laughed, and pulled out almost all the way before pushing back in then repeating the action, increasing my speed and force each time. It didn't take long at all for Harry to begin moaning my name.

"Oh god Draco!" He cried out when I hit his prostrate for the first time. I laughed, holding his hips and pounding that spot repeatedly, sending him flying into a mess of whimpers, moans and barely coherent words. I wasn't much better off, I was in total ecstasy.

I knew my climax was coming fast but I tried to hold back, not wanting this amazing sensation to end. But finally I couldn't hold back any longer, I barely had time to grip Harry's cock and begin pumping it wildly. I screamed his name when I came deep inside his ass, his voice joined my own seconds later and I felt his sticky release coating my hand and his abdomen.

Still coming down from my high, I pulled my satiated cock out of his ass and watched in prideful fascination as a bit of cum dripped out after it. I felt Harry's hand wrap around my biceps and pull me down to lay beside him. I tugged him against my chest and ran my fingers through the sticky cum on his stomach. There would be time for cleaning spells later.

"That was…" Harry tried to speak but just trailed off. "I love you." he finally finished softly.

"I love you too." I whispered back, kissing his forehead. This was only the beginning, we knew there would be a lot of difficult things from our past to work through and a lot of new road blocks that were sure to pop up in the future. But as far as beginnings go, this was definitely the best one I could have ever imagined.

The next day in the great hall two things happened simultaneously. I got a howler from my father for breaking my engagement to the Greengrass' and the Weaselette began to scream at the top of her lungs at Harry for breaking up with her. It didn't take a genius for anybody to realize the two dramas were related and by lunch Harry met me outside the giant oak doors and took my hand. We walked in together.

Everybody stopped, everybody stared, everybody exploded into chatter.

The Weaselette was furiously sobbing, the Weasel's face was a very interesting shade of red and he looked like he was about to vomit and Granger had a hand over her mouth in shock. My only friend Blaise was simply laughing hysterically, collecting bags of galleons from the other younger slytherins. Id have to have a talk with him about that later.

I still hated the saying 'If you love something let it go, if it comes back then it's yours if it doesn't it never was.' I just knew that I'd never _ever_ let Harry go again. Ever. And when Harry pulled me into a kiss, right in the middle of the Great Hall for everyone to see, I knew he didn't have any plans of letting me go either.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! It was my first M rated story and I'd really like to get some feedback!**


End file.
